Lesson 2

What About Socialization?

It's important for children to have friends!

Even though home schooling is not just about you and your children locked in the house, tediously doing worksheet after worksheet, social interaction is a legitimate concern when taking your child out of the culturally-acccepted norm of a classroom full of peers. Fortunately, the solution is an easy one, filled with fun opportunities for both child and parent alike.

Depending where you live, you'll find different opportunities open to home schoolers. In our area, we are extremely fortunate to have several home school associations, one of which has over 150 families with children from pre-school through high school. As a group, we share a message board on the Internet, posting activity opportunities, questions, curriculum needs, and much more. Our group has regular weekly meetings at the Park or other public places and there is always a group ready and willing to join in an activity.

If you don't have a such a group in your area, you may want to start one. It's easy to begin gathering a few families together for an occasional field trip, social gathering or book club. If you don't have a lot of home schoolers in your area, this can even be done with schooled children in the late afternoons, evenings, or weekends.

It's important to differentiate between Socialization, defined as learning the customs, attitudes, and values of a social group, community, or culture, and Social Skills, defined as skills a social animal uses to interact and communicate with others.

We can choose to teach these skills as part of our home school curriculum and then let our children practice them in social situations. The social skills your children learn and social experiences your children have are an important part of their development. They can have the experiences they need to be wonderfully adapted adults without being in a classroom all day. I find that my son is much better at learning and adapting when I can plan and supervise some of his social encounters. I value being able to observe how he is interacting and knowing what areas need work.

After-school activities, play days at friends' houses, and sports activities all make good additions to your regular social schedule. Our usual routine includes academic work in the morning and some group activities in the early afternoons, with time available to join other activities after that.

If you are considering home schooling and are concerned about socialization, I believe you'll find it is much less of an issue than you expect. If you're already home schooling, you may even have found, as we did, that we had to cut back on all the social options. There just isn't time to do them all--we do have to make time for our studies!

Well-Intentioned Worriers

When other people learn that you are home schooling, they will often voice their concerns in this area. A friend of mine from Italy was mystified when I told her we were home schooling. "It sounds like all the work and none of the fun!" she told me. It may be hard to explain, but we actually have much more fun, with far less work, now than we did when he was in school.

A home-schooling parent was once approached by a well-meaning friend. Her concern was based on the fact that if a child doesn't go to school, she won't learn how to sit still while bored. And, if a child doesn't learn how to behave when they are bored, they will be at a disadvantage later in life in college, work and other social situations where boredom is expected. I don't know what answer the home schooling mom gave her concerned friend, but I'm not sure I could have kept a straight face!

This isn't just an issue that neighbors and friends whisper about--it's made the cover story of Time Magazine. In August, 2001, Seceding from School brought the issue of home schooling and socialization into the homes of many Americans. You'll find a link on the activity page for this lesson if you'd like to read the article. It is a well-researched article that brings out pros and cons on both sides.

You may even run into folks who feel that home schoolers are sabotaging public schools. They believe that home schoolers and private school families are not interested in public school problems and because of this it becomes harder to pass laws that will bring money and support to the public system. There are some who will argue that it is our public duty to stick with the system and not abandon it. I don't agree :) We still pay our taxes and I have no ill will for public schools. They don't provide a service I need or want, but that is true about many public services and I support those as well.

It is wise to carefully consider your decision to home school with your family. Reach that decision and then let those who aren't happy about it grumble, fuss, and get over it. If you are interested in joining one of the many organizations on the local, state or national level in support of home schooling, you have the opportunity to do so. If not, and you just want to raise your children and educate them, that's fine, too!